So many times people say they want a good person in their life and when it happens they’ll take advantage of  the situation. Working here I get a lot of letters, emails and phone calls from men and women saying the person they are with is great but…….. Personally I think people that ask for what they want and get it and are still not satisfied are selfish people and will never be satisfied. It’s like someone who says that has other issues about relationships they haven’t settled and if that’s the case why are you asking for something when you still have commitment issues? Selfishness comes to my mind. I’m not saying people need to settle but stop being so superficial and stop making up excuses for your short comings. I recently had a young lady email me that she loves the guy she is seeing and he’s everything she has asked for but she had issues with her dad not being around and she has had bad relationships. She’s scared he’ll leave her like her dad left her mom. What can you say to that?  How about this….stop asking for blessings that your not ready for. I’ve been in a situation like that and let me tell you it sucks. When you think you’ve found someone only to find out you’ve been wasting your time with them it really shows lack of respect for you and selfishness on their part. Unless the issue is resolved your relationship is heading nowhere. If you know you have issues about relationships……..stop getting into them! Remember you get out what you put in. If you want to be by yourself then do just that. If you want to lie to yourself that’s one thing but don’t do it to the people who care for ya.  Just my opinion but if you like drama continue to do what you’ve been doing. What do I know huh?

So much attention is put on holidays and gift giving I’m wondering when it’s just gonna become apart of our lives. For some of us it’s routine. I’m not a Scrooge and I do believe in giving and doing for the one you love but there are limits. Commercials on radio and TV make it seem that if your not spending you don’t care. Do you know how to love without buying gifts? Here’s some questions…Does all the things you do wrong go away when you buy that gift or box of candy? How much time does the gift give you before you have to buy another one? Is your love based on money, jewlery or gifts? Do they really love you because they spent X amount of dollars on you? Is the gift for you or is it for your self esteem? I can honestly say that when I give to my lady it comes from the heart and I do it all year. When it’s expected of you to buy and spend to me that’s when it’s not real. Valentines Day is truelly a kids and women’s holiday and should be welcomed and not expected. For the ladies only…..If your love only shows you he loves you with flowers and candy one  day a year you need to find another lover. If you except the 1 day of love you deserve everything you get and no need to complain. NO MAN should expect anything but a hug and a kiss for Valentines Day. If he is upset that you didn’t get him something…ask him who’s the woman and who’s the man.

I was reading a very interesting article on ‘Why black women believe men so easily when it comes to religion. The author went on to say that she interviewed over 250 single, married and divorced women combined and the one thing that the majority of them had in common was religion and wanting a religious man. They were from different socialand economical backrounds but they shared religion common. The majority of the ladies said that they are attracted to men who say they attend church  and/or express religious beliefs. Some of the ladies say that their men only expressed those beliefs to impress them and they didn’t go to church before they started to date or before they got married.  They said  there men talked one thing but actions said another. Have you even thought about this before? Do you know someone who believes any and everything a person says as long as it’s about religion? It’s not just black women although it might seem like it because in our culture the churches are busting from the seams with black women. Some of the ladies expressed that even when a man has done them wrong they always have the church to fall back on. Every situation is different but the next time your in church just take a look around and you’ll see the make-up of the congregation. The article wasn’t painting anyone who attends church regularly in a bad light it was just showing how people can be manlipulated when there guard is down. It’s the last place and the last thing you’d think someone would lie about but it happens everyday and not always in church. It could be at school, work, or anywhere. The state of Missouri’s Slogan is “The show me state” and that’s how I roll. Talk is real cheap and I’d like to be judged on my actions. In summary just because someone says all the right things about what your passionate about  doesn’t mean you should give them the key to the city without examining things first hand. Satan was extremley knowledgible of the word and you know what happened to him right? There’s an old saying….Believe all of what you SEE and half of what you Hear. Your thoughts are welcome.

You know when Usher’s new song “PAPERS” came out I had a feeling of Deja Vu! I could’ve swore he was in my head because it felt like my situation a couple of years ago. I love the line…” But who the hell argue n fight like dogs at 6 in the morning?”lol A classic line. After you sign those papers make sure everything you want out of the marriage/relationship like furniture, cars, dishes, pictures and other stuff you get in writing! A promise or just a verbal ok doesn’t work at all and legally you have no leg to stand on. This past weekend I was suppose to have my daugther for the weekend but things went south. Visitation was something that I never got clarified. It just said reasonable visitation and now when I want to see my child there’s always an excuse waiting. This time I was ready to get her at 11am Saturday only for her mother to tell me she was coming to Greensboro saving me a trip. Needless to say I didn’t see her because an excuse was made to why she wasn’t gonna make it to town. Never mind that I was going to get her 7 hours earlier and had made plans for us all day. This is just one of many excuses given and yes she tells my child that your DAD doesn’t want to come and get you. I know it’s hard to believe that a parent would purposely lie to a child to make another parent look bad but you don’t know my ex-wife or maybe you do. Learn from mistakes in the past and GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING! Your ex doesn’t have your best interest at heart so don’t give them credit for anything. There’s a reason they’re your ex so holidays, birthdays, school plays and such just make sure you have a plan and take all emotion out of it. Remember it’s not about you and them it’s about the kids! Results may vary but take it from me….. just get it in writing!

It wasn’t until I started to feel played by her that I let go. While I was going through my divorce I thought I would never get over losing so much emotionally and financially. I was depressed and was just going through the motions in everything. I felt like I couldn’t make it without her in my life and wasn’t putting value in my own wants and needs. I was really hard on myself and wasn’t allowing myself to love myself. Once I started to love Marty that’s when I was able to take the steps to let go. It’s a process and I wasn’t going to cheat myself from happiness and you shouldn’t either. People will say just get over it and that’s true to a point but don’t fool yourself into being someone your not. I got over it and you can to. Although having some kind of faith or religion is key before anything. Having a good strong base of family and friends that stays away from judging you is a good thing and for me it was huge. Your thoughts?

One day I was shopping over the holidays and over heard a women commenting about an interracial couple in the store.  She was very loud and damn near rude when she remarked how could HE be with that white B****! She followed that up with a giggle and told the other person on the phone be blessed and I’ll see you in church Sunday! I know many would say that’s just an isolated incident but is it? You know someone just like that and it seems to me they are growing in numbers. You know the holier than thou on Sunday but Monday thru Saturday they’re talking about folk, cheating, drunk, high and whatever else. Where does it say that love is for just one race, one color, one heritage? Is it me or does that sound like the opposite of a christian? So tell me just how religious are you? Do you think like this?

Ok I know you just can’t ask a lady to choose one over the other but tonite for “Ladies Night” what would you rather have….A good Meal, a good movie or a good gift!

Ok I know it might sound far fetched but people do it all the time and that’s being in a relationship because they’re lonely. You might have done this before and I’ll admit to it as well. We all have our reasons but sooner than later the shhhhh hits the fan and now you have to deal with it. So I ask you…..Are you with someone just so you’re not alone? Why/ Why not?

Doesn’t everybody have a friend, cousin or co-worker that tells some good fashion lies? I mean the kind that before they even finish telling you the story your already saying to yourself ” he/she lying they a** off!”lol They lye so much you can’t and they can’t tell reality from the lies. I got a friend who lies about things that I  witnessed. I sometimes have to scratch my head and say did that happen? It seems that the person that lies all the time is the same person who always wants to borrow $20.00. Why is that?

If your like me and can’t sleep at night you’ve seen the commercials for the pills that INCREASE your size and stamina? There’s a market for it but is the pressure coming from women? So ladies does it still come down to size or is it stamina, frequency or what? What makes a good lover?