Not only is it a birthday celebration for R&B legend Charlie Wilson, best known for performing on stage with his brothers as the Gap Band, but it could be quite a celebratory event with Sunday’s Grammy’s and Charlies’ two-time nomination…one for best R&B album for his project “Uncle Charlie”, as well as for best R&B vocal performance for the song, “There Goes My Baby.” Way to go indeed Uncle Charlie and what a journey it has been for you to get this far and finally get the recognition that you deserve! And what a transition..do many of you know that Charlie admitted to shedding quite a few tears after going from a homeless has-been to finding out he was a Grammy nominee? As talented of a singer and songwriter that he is, it’s hard to believe that so many doors have been shut on him over the years, in addition to overcoming a drug problem, a money dispute with a former manager(one that even led him to being blackballed in the music industry),  and losing his Father to Prostate Cancer, Charlie is now being blessed in ways that he probably couldn’t even imagine! And Charlie is a great ambassador to represent the true Old School for this Sunday’s biggest night in music, so here’s to wishing Charlie the best and hoping that he can clear some shelf space for a Grammy, maybe even two!

I was reading a very interesting article on ‘Why black women believe men so easily when it comes to religion. The author went on to say that she interviewed over 250 single, married and divorced women combined and the one thing that the majority of them had in common was religion and wanting a religious man. They were from different socialand economical backrounds but they shared religion common. The majority of the ladies said that they are attracted to men who say they attend church  and/or express religious beliefs. Some of the ladies say that their men only expressed those beliefs to impress them and they didn’t go to church before they started to date or before they got married.  They said  there men talked one thing but actions said another. Have you even thought about this before? Do you know someone who believes any and everything a person says as long as it’s about religion? It’s not just black women although it might seem like it because in our culture the churches are busting from the seams with black women. Some of the ladies expressed that even when a man has done them wrong they always have the church to fall back on. Every situation is different but the next time your in church just take a look around and you’ll see the make-up of the congregation. The article wasn’t painting anyone who attends church regularly in a bad light it was just showing how people can be manlipulated when there guard is down. It’s the last place and the last thing you’d think someone would lie about but it happens everyday and not always in church. It could be at school, work, or anywhere. The state of Missouri’s Slogan is “The show me state” and that’s how I roll. Talk is real cheap and I’d like to be judged on my actions. In summary just because someone says all the right things about what your passionate about  doesn’t mean you should give them the key to the city without examining things first hand. Satan was extremley knowledgible of the word and you know what happened to him right? There’s an old saying….Believe all of what you SEE and half of what you Hear. Your thoughts are welcome.

There are likely many things in your personal life that get you through those ‘tough’ times- prayer, talking to someone, maybe even writing in a journal to see your thoughts come to life on paper. For me..I like to refer to it as the three ‘p’s…

PRAYER, PERSEVERANCE, and PATIENCE. The most important of these for me is indeed prayer- and shall we say I don’t ‘leave home without it’, always giving thanks to his Almighty for even letting me live to see the day, and giving thanks before I close my eyes and pray that I will live to see just one more day! Perseverance, which at times can run in short supply, reassures me that the next day will always be better than the day prior, because if you really stop and think about it, no two days are ever exactly the same. And lastly patience, which is an extension of perseverance and largely serves as a great back-up plan in making sure what may begin as a rough start to any day, will NOT be the case by the end of the day. So I pass along this blog in hopes of (1) letting you know that we ALL have those days that may start off rocky, but (2) when you meditate on those 3 ‘p’ s, which I often do..everything really is going to be alright. And as I always like to say when saying good-bye for the day on the radio…THERE ARE NO BAD DAYS..SOME DAYS ARE JUST BETTER THAN OTHERS!

You know when Usher’s new song “PAPERS” came out I had a feeling of Deja Vu! I could’ve swore he was in my head because it felt like my situation a couple of years ago. I love the line…” But who the hell argue n fight like dogs at 6 in the morning?”lol A classic line. After you sign those papers make sure everything you want out of the marriage/relationship like furniture, cars, dishes, pictures and other stuff you get in writing! A promise or just a verbal ok doesn’t work at all and legally you have no leg to stand on. This past weekend I was suppose to have my daugther for the weekend but things went south. Visitation was something that I never got clarified. It just said reasonable visitation and now when I want to see my child there’s always an excuse waiting. This time I was ready to get her at 11am Saturday only for her mother to tell me she was coming to Greensboro saving me a trip. Needless to say I didn’t see her because an excuse was made to why she wasn’t gonna make it to town. Never mind that I was going to get her 7 hours earlier and had made plans for us all day. This is just one of many excuses given and yes she tells my child that your DAD doesn’t want to come and get you. I know it’s hard to believe that a parent would purposely lie to a child to make another parent look bad but you don’t know my ex-wife or maybe you do. Learn from mistakes in the past and GET EVERYTHING IN WRITING! Your ex doesn’t have your best interest at heart so don’t give them credit for anything. There’s a reason they’re your ex so holidays, birthdays, school plays and such just make sure you have a plan and take all emotion out of it. Remember it’s not about you and them it’s about the kids! Results may vary but take it from me….. just get it in writing!

Nuff said…..

Today I celebrate a milestone…turning the big 4-0:)…it’s a day of mixed blessings while the devastation of Haiti still weighs heavy on my mind, but at the same time I reflect in the excitement of thinking back to the years of spending those yearly celebrations with family and close friends, and even meeting and getting to know my extended family like you. Bittersweet because some family(like my grandmother) are no longer here to call and wish me a happy anniversay, but I know she and other dear ones I’ve lost are smiling down from the clouds up above! So I give thanks to my God for letting me celebrate another year..and to you Mommy for bringing me into the world..and who knew your little girl grew up right before your eyes!

One should always looked to be inspired, if not from within, from powerful, spiritual people.

“There can be no deep disappointment where there is not deep love”
-Dr. Martin Luther King

Just when you think you’re having a bad day…someone, somewhere has got it worse. That phrase has never been more profound as the country of Haiti desperately tries to make sense of how to survive such a horrific ordeal as an earthquake of 7.0 magnitude shook the country to its core. And as this world continues to help in aid with water, medical supplies and trying to comfort those who have lost families, friends, and loved ones, do we ever think of the possibility of  reliving the nightmare(that for some people has never really gone away) of 9-11, and what possible support would we receive on a global scale. I had a friend in College who was Haitian-American, and I can’t even begin to image what possible hell Carla could be going through in trying to contact her family, as she once told me that her Father still remained in the Country with other relatives. For all the indifferences that exist here in the United States…financial bailouts to big banks and Ceo’s getting outrageous bonuses to Senators of both the House and Senate who still can’t agree on a Universal HealthCare plan, a lot of us are blessed in more ways than we care to realize. So the next time I dare start to complain about  i.e. not being ‘rich’ enough or living in a more ’fanciful’ home, please stop me and remind me of a person in Haiti or anywhere in the world where people have nothing and may have to start life over with nothing and to just simply count my blessings(and yours)….one by one!

In light of the devastation from the earthquake in Haiti, where so many lives have been devasted and even lost, in makes me think in retrospect how do we find the strength, or a coping mechanism to deal with the lost/death of a loved one. Recently losing someone I cared deeply about who was like a ‘third’ grandmother to me, and who was blessed and passed on her blessings to others in her life for over 90 years..and what especially inspired me to write this blog and share with you is what a son relayed to me in conversation the other day, is the hardest part of life is now having to adjust to ‘not having my mother in my life anymore.’ There are no so many other people, including those in Haiti, who no longer have their mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, and other siblings and friends. Continue to pray for all of them, as shall I, and although they are no longer in the physical, their spiritual love will FOREVER remain and thus it is a love that will never die!

It wasn’t until I started to feel played by her that I let go. While I was going through my divorce I thought I would never get over losing so much emotionally and financially. I was depressed and was just going through the motions in everything. I felt like I couldn’t make it without her in my life and wasn’t putting value in my own wants and needs. I was really hard on myself and wasn’t allowing myself to love myself. Once I started to love Marty that’s when I was able to take the steps to let go. It’s a process and I wasn’t going to cheat myself from happiness and you shouldn’t either. People will say just get over it and that’s true to a point but don’t fool yourself into being someone your not. I got over it and you can to. Although having some kind of faith or religion is key before anything. Having a good strong base of family and friends that stays away from judging you is a good thing and for me it was huge. Your thoughts?